Nóvembermánudur - gledi og sorgir / The month of November - joys and sorrows

When I think about the month of November it has a lot of memories; good and bad. November last year was probably one of the hardest months in my life. I call it the Soap Opera of Ásta Sól...hehehe... but in reality I´m surprised that I didn´t have a nervous breakdown. I am still working out some of the things that happened then. I still want to talk to some of the people who were involved in making my life miserable, or more accurately: being egocentric, insensitive and judgemental during the most difficult time of my life. The truth is that since they didn´t care then, they won´t care now. When things went really wrong they decided to blame the only person who´s fault it was not; me! (And sadly, that has sort of been the story of my life (personal i.e.) and I intend to change it). They decided to listen and believe the only person I know who can hardly ever tell the truth, a person who almost ruined my life by lying to me and others. I even started covering for him to save his ass, but when I couldn´t do it anymore, I was the idiot. The role I played in this ´amazing´opera was the role of the co-dependent, and I don´t like it anymore. I never did actually. I have to start forgiving all those involved (takk pabbi fyrir hjálpina, ég elska thig) and since I am a believer I should start praying for them as well. Those who know me well know the whole story.....

Good and bad dates of November:

November 29, 1991: My dear amma Gyða, besta manneskja í heimi, passed away on this day 13 years ago. I still remember everything that happened. I loved her so much and wish she could have stayed with us longer. Elsku amma ég gleymi þér aldrei!
November 1, 2003: Amma Ástríður passed away. Unfortunately, I couldn´t be there for her funeral, but I did say goodbye to her two days before she died and I knew it would be the last time I´d see her. I just didn´t know if would happen so fast. I remember excatly where I was. I was in New York at Jake´s office (The Saline Project, see the link on the side). I had to cry in silence.
My mom told me that on the day she died there were ravens outside the nursery home she was at, and the funny thing is that when my grandma was younger she had raised a raven. At this point my mom knew that she had passed away. A few days later (when I was in Victoria, Canada and on the day of her funeral if I remember correctly) there there was a raven sitting on a tree next to where I was staying. To me it was like amma was saying goodbye. Every time I see a raven I will think of her.

November 27: My amma Ástrídur was born. She would have turned 91 on this day (and this day my Gréta voff voff turned 8 and a 1/2 :)

November 2, 2003: Something really bad happened that I can´t really talk about here. Those who know me well, know.

November 30, 2003: I met Addi for the first time. Not only did I fall in love, not only did I meet the man of my life; meeting him saved my life! Ég elska þig ástin mín og get ekki beðið eftir að eyða það sem eftir er af lífinu med þér.